Artist: The Male Pattern
Album: I Was Shot Through The Heart
Release: September 25, 2026; Audio Antihero
Queens, New York based singer-songwriter, William Schwartz of The Male Pattern serves up a slice of modern day Americana. On paper, this release is everything I look for in an album. It’s satirical, story driven, often times humorous, AND it shines the light on a pattern of behavior often exhibited by some of the most toxic types of men.
The opening song “The Television Watcher” introduces the main character of this story, which I will from this point refer to as the ‘hero”— he certainly sees himself as a hero. A man fully content to live his life through the proxy of television. There is really no need for the “hero” to fix his life. He gets all the benefits of a well lived life vicariously through all his favorite television shows; the ups and the downs. Sometimes, rather than being brave enough to stand in the life you’ve made for yourself, it is easier to withdraw. This is a great set up for the type of guy the ‘hero” is– a coward.
“I’m a Soldier” has to be the most amusing song on the album. It further establishes the “hero” as a recently divorced dad. He often claims that he could have been a veteran through the song. It reminds me of a specific type of dude bro that likes to talk about how he would have joined the military if it weren’t for this or that flat excuse. He also compares arguing with people online to the Vietnam War. Bargain-box commandos in ill-fitting body armor springs to mind. Absolutely the best way to further distill the type of guy the ‘hero” is. The song ends with a list of menu items which is hilarious especially when given added context from the following track “Voicemail to Corporate”
Schwartz really goes out of his way to illustrate to listeners that the problems the “hero”, is having and will have are of his own creation. Let me assure you, the “hero’s” problems are numerous and compound exponentially as he continues through a downward spiral over the course of the album. That spiral eventually culminates in a shoot out with cops. Even as the “hero’s” life flashes before his eyes it becomes explicitly clear that he has learned nothing, excepts no responsibility, and is still very much a d-bag.
All in all I found the album to be an exceptional piece of storytelling. I, honestly, would expect nothing less from a seasoned English professor like Schwartz. Where the album falls off for me is in the music itself. It is slow and melodic but lacks any hooks that really grab me. That being said I think the album is worth a look. The story is fantastic and hell, I’m willing to admit that the music might be right up someone else’s alley.
