Author: David Robison

  • Or Hans Gruber and the Die Hards by Hans Gruber and the Die Hards

    Or Hans Gruber and the Die Hards by Hans Gruber and the Die Hards

    Album: Or Hans Gruber and the Die Hards

    Artist: Hans Gruber and the Die Hards

    Released: February 17, 2026; Self Release

    Hans Gruber and the Die Hards have been a high energy, often zany staple of the Ska-core genre for close to a decade. Or Hans Gruber and the Die Hards is no exception to this already established norm. This entire album is a fun energy driven chaotic parade. If upon hearing the first song you think to yourself, ‘Oh I know where this is going’, I promise that you do not. The only way I can describe this album is by asking you to picture the Kool-aid man busting into a room except he is wearing a pair of boxer briefs as music blasts at you. He then runs by you bursting through the adjacent wall into the next room, revealing a new room and music completely and different from the from the last. That is honestly how it feels as you progress track by track through the album. The only thing that seems to remain constant throughout the album is that each song is utterly amazing and the group’s disdain for how things are and their desire for them to be better for everyone not just the rich—Well maybe not better for the rich.

    I think the song that best showcases their desire to make things better is, “One Day”. It imagines a future where everyone has housing and the other things they need to live. In a very loose sense, it is a Ska-core “Imagine” except where John Lennon very much comes off as a pie in the sky, wouldn’t this be nice dreamer. Hans Gruber and the Die Hards deliver a song that is less pie in the sky and more resolute. It’s not just a call to action; it’s a threat. The verses in Spanish speak of revolution further cementing the song as one that means business. One day, indeed hopefully sometime in our lifetime. This is my favorite song on the album.

    Pay Your Tolls” is another great song that showcases yet another thing to be mad at about society as it is. Toll roads suck. Having to pay a fee for a thing that should be a public service is utter bull shit especially when you live in a country that doesn’t offer any other viable modes of transit, outside of its largest cities. Hans Gruber really hates paying tolls and you should too. Another thing that I really like about this particular song is that it is a team up with Doom Scroll one of my top folk punk bands. It might seem like an odd match up to some people but to me, I think it’s perfect.

    Then, there is “Throwdown” which is just a absolutely perfect pop-punk bop with horns. I love the vocals so much in this song, especially the chorus. The drums? Great! The guitar? Great! The horns? AMAZING! The little operatic bit?? You know unexpectedly that too even works! Purely an infectious bop.

    The last song I want to highlight is “Chambacú” Its a Latin ballad with a coral accompaniment and horns, but also there is screaming?? Its unique, its awesome and I love it. I low key want to go to the place they are singing about because the love and reverence they express for it in this song makes it seem hella lit.

    To wrap things up here, other notable songs include one about trash. One about how venues should give ear protection to concert goers for free: a thing I wholeheartedly agree with. And a song that compares politicians and the rich to everyone’s least favorite parasite, the bedbug. One more thing I wholeheartedly agree with. This album is a wild ride that is as fun as it is chaotic. With “Or Hans Gruber and the Die Hards”, Hans Gruber and the Die Hards have served fans up something they couldn’t have possibly imagined.

  • Yertle the Turtle by Dr. Seuss

    Yertle the Turtle by Dr. Seuss

    Times being what they are, I think that I am going to need to take a break from gushing about music for a moment to talk instead about something more important. So, if you would humor me with this detour I would appreciate it.

    I have a whole mess of kids; I am sure some of you know. I enjoy reading them books as soon as they are old enough to hold still for a bit. In fact, my two year old has gotten to be quite a fan. Recently, I read him one of my favorite stories by Dr Seuss. It’s called Yertle the Turtle. It is about a turtle king named Yertle who decides one day that he needs to be the ruler of more than just his small pond. This so called turtle king gets it in his head that he is ruler of all that he sees and to rule more, he needs to see more. He then commands his turtle subjects to climb on the rock he uses as a throne and he, in turn, climbs onto them. His desire to rule more only subsides for a moment and he demands that more turtles climb onto his throne so he can again ascend to the top of the turtle stack. This goes on for a while until a turtle named Mack politely asks for the king and the rest of the turtles to get off his back for he is being hurt by the massive turtle stack. The king cares not and stacks more turtles on and again Mack asks for reprieve. Yet again, Mack is ignored. This goes on until Mack finally can take it no more. The story ends with Mack burping. That burp causes the turtle stack to come crashing down leaving Yertle the turtle king alone sitting in the mud.

    It has always kind of bothered me that the thing that brings down the king is a burp. Surely, not the best way to end a story that was absolutely intended to be about the fascism of Hitler. Since the first time I read the story to my oldest kid over 20 years ago, I have pondered why Seuss made this choice. Opposition to fascism in reality requires a lot of active involvement. A burp won’t do it. I eventually came to the conclusion that the burp is just a compromise that Seuss had to make because he is writing a children’s book. The reality of Hitler’s fascism is that the Allies had to storm the beaches in Normandy and whatnot to put an end to it’s horrors. Well, that kind of thing isn’t ever suppose to make it into a children’s book. Seuss had to give the book a more children friendly ending that unfortunately undercut the overall moral of the story.

    It wasn’t until earlier this year when I sat down to read the story for the first time to my 2 year old that I began to ponder the end of the book once more. Maybe it’s the fact that the United States is currently living through the rise of fascism in our communities, or maybe it really just took me 20+ years of pondering on and off for it to hit me. Sometimes I can be a little dense. Seuss wasn’t making a compromise because he was speaking to children. He was speaking to children and therefore was being so clear, so precise, and so to the point that it went over my silly adult head for decades. Burping is something that little kids are told almost from the get go is impolite. They are told not to do it in public and if it happens, they are told that they must excuse themselves for it. What Dr. Seuss is telling the reader is that you do not owe the people that oppress you your politeness. In fact, through the majority of the story, Mack the turtle remains polite and cordial and he is ignored. He eventually begs, and pleads for change and he is ignored. It isn’t until he gets mad enough to be impolite that things change.

    The powers that be want us to be polite and compliant. That makes us easier to ignore and control. We do not owe them that; especially when they actively torment and kill our neighbors. Get mad, stop being polite, and start demanding that things change. If anyone tells you that you must be polite ask yourself where those people sit in this turtle stack we are all currently apart of and what they stand to gain from the status quo and more importantly what they stand to lose if it changes. We might all be in the turtle sack but some turtles have deluded themselves into thinking that much like the turtle king above them, they benefit from seeing just a little bit more than the turtles below and whatever discomfort they experience is worth it to not be back in the pond with everyone else. The turtles below be damned. Even in a non malicious way people sometimes convince themselves that their position in the hierarchy of the turtle stack will protect them from the worst of what fascism brings to bare and all they need to do is ride it out. This is a pipe dream; a delusion. Eventually, fascism comes for us all one way or another. The turtle stack will always need turtles to crush. None of us are immune.

    Finally, this certainly isn’t an attempt to lionize Dr. Seuss. Over his many years as a political cartoonist, he most certainly had some bad takes especially on Japanese Americans during World War 2. We should definitely acknowledge where he was wrong and learn the lessons from that, but to toss out the things that he got right would be a disservice to ourselves, especially now when we could really use advice from the people that defeated fascism once before. Dr. Seuss wasn’t a flawless truth teller but in spite of all his flaws, he was still able to see fascism for what it was. I think it is time that every American see the trouble that we have found ourselves in for what it is and acts accordingly. You might not feel like you can do much, but anything is better than nothing. At the very least you can stop being polite.